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  • Writer's pictureTaylor Nakakihara

Understanding my new control, freedom, and responsibility to avoid burnout.

Updated: Mar 8, 2022

As I find my footing with my multiple jobs whose hours are entirely dictated by me, I have been forced to realize how many of my work behaviors and beliefs fall under the unhealthy theme of "The Grind".

If I can't make a meeting at the originally scheduled time, I feel horrible. If I miss an email or a call, I freak. If I don't work "enough" I feel lazy. If I say no to a request, even if it was a valid no, I feel like I've let someone down for days and am afraid to ask for anything in return. I still feel anxious when I allow myself time off, even though I don't have to explain this to anyone anymore...

I also don't have healthy boundaries on how long I should work in a day either. Because I work from home, and feel very comfortable in my various workspaces here, I can easily work 16 hours in a day and then not realize thats probably why I feel like trash.

But then, I saw this post from Create & Cultivate, and realized that for the first time in my life I have total and complete control over every single thing I need in order to create the future I want.

The list is so exciting it blows my mind!

I don't have to ask for permission for time to take care of myself.
I can spend time with friends and family whenever I want to.
I can work from anywhere in the world (that has a stable internet connection).
It's "Bring Your Pet to Work Day" every day!
No one can yell at me except me.
No one can tell me "that's not your job" or limit me.
I can scale up my prices as needed for my work, to an extent.
If I need to rest and reset - I can. If I need to work from the bathroom or the bed, I can. No questions asked.

With all of this control and freedom comes responsibility and consequences.

If I work myself too hard, there isn't anyone to pick up the slack when I crash.

If I don't work with intention, I am wasting valuable time and resources that come out of my pocket.

If I don't fight for what I deserve to be paid, I won't grow.

If I don't prioritize time with my people because I am working too hard, it makes it harder for them to support my work because they've learned its an either/or situation and no one deserves to be an option.

If I don't take care of my body, I will end up in pain and at risk for some kind of heath crisis (my body is fragile).

I know that I can be really cruel to myself and forget every single piece of the above in the pursuit of "doing a good job" - I did it at my last job and countless others before. My success in this new chapter of my life depends on my ability to recognize burnout before it happens.

I have also gotten to see the consequences of poor small business management from the outside in through some of the people in my life - it's hard, and definitely not easy to always make the right decision every time, but its a damned shame to be just as miserable building your dream as you would be toiling on someone else's payroll.

Boss Babe Inc. also shared a post from Natalie Ellis that sums up my above feelings really nicely -

Both of the posts above are printed and framed in my office as visual reminders that if I don't prioritize healthy business owner behaviors, I can't live the life I deserve and dream about.

P.S. Boss Babe Inc. and Create & Cultivate are awesome business owner resource areas - I follow them on Instagram and they provide wonderful daily messages for those who aren't afraid of hard work for a big goal

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